Poonam Pandey to Strip before the Parliament

28 08 2011

If rumor mills are to be believed, Model Poonam Pandey has declared that she will strip in front of the parliament if the Parliament approves the Lokpal Bill. When asked if this was true, sourcs close to the model said, “Yes! This is absolutely true. PP is absoluetely thrilled with the idea and thinks this is much better way to convince the government than a fasting 74 year old man.” Flauting a bikini clad Kingfsher photo of the actress, the source continued, “After all who wouldn’t like to see this.”

When informed that she did not fulfill her promise after India won the worldcup, the source replied, “She had informed the BCCI that she would do it privately for the players. The BCCI was obviously disappointed as it would have meant them missing out.”

Meanwhile the government sources decided to keep mum. However, despite being told not to say anything on the matter, Congress (bad)mouthpiece Digvijay Singh said, “We are open to all sorts of suggestions and incentives to pass a jan lokpal bill. However, Miss Pandey has to know that she will have to do her act twice: in lok sabha and rajya sabha as most of the members of the ruling government are from Rajya Sabha.”

When forced into saying something congress spokesperson Manish Tiwari said, “Who is this Pandey? And what right does “he” have to speak something about stripping when he himself is clad in clothes from head-to-toe?” When informed that it was “she” and not “he”, Mr. Tiwari replied, “Oh! I thought I was talking about Chunkey Pandey. In this scenario, I would like to say that our government is open to all sorts of talks and “provocations”.” and exited with a nasty smile.

The BJP meanwhile treaded on its usual nationalistic lines. “This is an insult to the parliament. This is an insult to women. This is an insult to ..whoever feels insulted.” said Sushama Swaraj. Meanwhile BJP spokesperson Prakash Javadekar in his typical Marathi accent said that it was a serious issue and asked the PM to launch a CBI inquiry into the whole affair.

However, in an unprecidented act of unity, Young politicians across all olitical lines welcomed the move saying that at least this would ensure young people to enter politics. In a strangely awkward position cousins turned enemies Varun and Rahul Gandhi were seen hand-in-hand and duscussing the whole issue with the excitement of 8 year olds while others like Milind Deora, Jyotiraditya Scindia etc. were seen gazing awe-eyed at both of them.

Meanwhile Indian Captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni has asked the government to not believe in Miss Pandey. “She had promised that she would strip if we won the worldcup. And although it did encourae us to win, it left the boys pretty sad when she did not keep her word.” In fact blaming her for the current debacle of team India in England, Dhoni said,”Guys like Raina, Zaheer, Harbajan, Yuvraj have been very dissappointed since then and haven’t been able to come out of the deprssion since and that is clearly reflecting on their performance.”

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