Cool Physicists and Poor Chemists

8 03 2012

All science is either Physics or stamp collecting

~ Ernest Rutherford, the father of nuclear physics.

Normally when I ask my Physics friends, “what are you working on these days?” they answer something on the lines of string theory, relativistic quantum effects or dark matter or looking out for some supernova or you know, one of those cool sounding words. Contrast that with my Chemist friends who answer me something like, synthesis of second fragment of a taxol or characterizing my sample with IR or one of those things about no one seems to care much.

My Physicists friend might grumble but then isn’t it true that what a chemist does, affects the general public, or aam aadmi, directly? I mean would you rather prefer a cheaper paracetamol or would it be better if someone told you that some star exploded a few thousand light years away? But then ask people names of famous scientists and what you would hear is Einstein, Newton, Heisenberg, Feynman. You would surely not hear them say Langmuir, Fischer, Wittig or Hoffmann. I mean who cares who was responsible for the wonderful windshield of your car that dries off almost immediately when you would rather be happy about knowing that “the force between the elctrons is an exchange force arising from the exchange of virtual photons.”

Not just that. Physics has wonderful jokes too. You have jokes about Pascal and Newton playing hide-n-seek. You have movies on Heisenberg, Einstein. They are natural philosophers who write wonderful quotes about religion and ethics and say what God doesn’t like to play with. Then there are these legendary stories of Archimedes running nude and apples falling on heads. And then those wonderful T-shirt captions on the lines of “Gravity is a myth. The earth sucks.

Meanwhile we are stuck with one single joke that we repeat everywhere. “My name is bond. Ionic bond.” We don’t have legendary stories except perhaps the elucidation of ring structure when whats-his-name was sleeping and dreamt of snakes. The discovery of fullerene, beautiful molecules that looks like football, might make good movie but then do we care? Even the super-villians are more engineers or biologists who don’t have to sit in front of a foot long column separating R and S isomers of some poisonous chemical. Who cares when we say that we have 117 elements on the last count as opposed to the great GOD who has only 5?


Anyway, why am I whining? Hopefully one of us would be the next savior of humanity or something. May be then, we might get a bit of respect. At this moment all that I can do is take a potshot. No, it won’t be directed at my software engineer friends. They earn 10 times more than I do for their “work”. The above quoted Ernest Rutherford who called my poor chemistry as mere stamp collection, got a Nobel Prize in 1908 in, hold your breath, C-H-E-M-I-S-T-R-Y. **** on that.


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A Definitive Guide to PhD (Pt 1)

16 09 2010

Hello Folks,

Welcome to the first part of “The Definitive Guide to PhD”. As an 8th year PhD student and with the due blessings of my seniors (9th to 11th year PhD students (uncles?)), I feel I am qualified enough to tell you newbs what to expect from your PhD. It’s always good to be prepared. Sun Tzu, as he says in, “The art of war”,

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.”

Sun Tzu

Not to say of course that PhD is a war. War is something where either of the sides can win. When it’s already decided that you are a loser, it can perhaps be called PhD, for simply lack of words.  But before you get disappointed, let me share my wealth of experience. The wise ones as they say learn from others mistakes. Though people and at times you, yourself would doubt how wise it was to have joined for PhD, be very sure that you have not made a mistake. Mistake is something that can be corrected. When it cannot be, it’s called a blunder.

For the first part, let’s describe the types of advisors or “guides” that you may come across. But before that, what should you know:

  • First and foremost, know that your boss is your God. (And do not forget, Yama, the God of death, too is a God.)

Yama: The Boss

  • The number of years you will take to finish you PhD is give by,

n = 3 (m+1)

where m is the number of years your boss says he will give your PhD in.

  • Your boss will never crush your dreams. The dreams with which you enter the campus like curing cancer or making a time machine or sorry…I forgot what mine was (it was at the beginning of this century, dude!) are simply unrealistic. All your boss does is to let you know that, journals like Science and Nature are out of your scope and you should be satisfied with the IEEE or Elsevier is where you belong.
  • Your boss does not have a big ego. However, it would still be wise if you never ever tell him something like, “But you only said it.”

Once you know these basic axioms, I will come up with the different “Types” of Boss in part two of the series. Until then, ya well… download movies from the repositories.





Things Men Do

14 10 2008

This one is gross. This could be funny but it’s still gross. Particularly the fairer of the two sexes could find it, particularly gross. So if you are a goody-goody kind of a person who doesn’t like to read gross things – stop right here.

Now that I know that you aren’t grossed out by things that are indeed gross – let’s start.

This one concerns men. Women folks somehow always seem to have a man of their dreams. At times it could be somebody like George Clooney or George Bush or Superman – anybody. As far as men go, they want to imitate these men. Somebody wants to be an Einstien while someone else might want to become a Manoj Kumar (or Abhishek Bacchan if you are talking about me) to impress a particular girl of his  respective dreams. Now you’ll say – “well, what’s so gross about all this?”

Well, men and women, as you fantasize and imitate these men, does it occur to you as to how these men behave in a public toilet? Ummm…okay, that’s gross! Right! Stop right here because from next paragraph onwards you are going to be introduced to different types of men depending on their behavior in a public lavatory.

Now, since you are reading this, I assume that you are mentally tough and so with this, I start my classification of men depending on their – well, pissing behavior.

<1> The Shy Guy

This guy is – shy. What he needs is a complete privacy when he does his stuff. First thing he does when he enters the loo is that he checks if the lavatory is almost empty. An empty lavatory is like a dreamland for him. Then what he does is, he occupies the cubicle at the extreme end – the last one. If that’s unavailable, he selects one which has unoccupied nearest neighbors. Once he gets the cubicle of his choice, his gaze is focused on what he is doing. His eyes don’t wander about. Just does his thing quietly and goes away.

Problem comes when, out of nowhere, somebody comes and stands besides him. Even worse when the other person starts a casual chitchat with him. Under such conditions, despite the rising pressure, this guy cannot pee. He stands there for a while just pretending that he is pissing, flushes the toilet and runs away. He then comes back half an hour later and goes through the above-mentioned routine again.

The fact that this guy could be a cool dude outside the toilet has nothing to do with his toilet shyness.

Amongst famous people who could belong to this category are Rahul Dravid, Ajay Devgan.

This author, that’s me, too identifies himself in this category.

<2> The ‘Pee’ker

This guy has nothing better to do than peek into the next cubicle. He is the ultimate nightmare of the shy guy. I have no clue as to what sadistic pleasure he gets by peeking. Now, he doesn’t stop here. Peeking is still – well, grudgingly acceptable but this guy starts to comment on your anatomy. Its freaking pathetic to hear a comment like “whoa, so big” or a stifled laughter. YUCK!

Famous people: Stiffler from American Pie, Akshay Kumar, The entire Australian cricket team.

<3> ‘Pee’thovens (alright, sorry for this pathetic pun)

This guy creates amazing sound effects in the loo. To start with, he needs a sort of hissing sound to get his leak started – sssss…Then comes a sigh of relief, “AAAhhhh…” like an Arab who’s found an Oasis. The come a “uuufff…” if his job doesn’t get over in 38 seconds. Its a boon that man cannot make all sorts of sounds, or else a men’s toilet would be full of sounds – from a waterfall to a tornado or even an ocean may be.

Famous people: Himesh Reshmiah, Annu Malik, Govinda.

<4> The stand backs

These guys are like those cricket players who always find a name in the 15-member team but can never break into the playing eleven. Come what may, these guys will always prefer to stand behind somebody who is pissing. Even though there could be six other empty cubicles, this guy would stand in line. The intention of this guy is still not clear to me. It could be a prank or just sheer habit or may be a numerological preference for some cubicle.

Famous People: Johny Lever, Ajit Agarkar

<5> Flying Zippers

The funniest of the lot. This guy is perhaps too lost in himself. Even before he has entered the toilet, his zippers are off and he walks shamelessly unaware of other people’s wild and horrified gazes and begins his job, no sooner has he reached his cubicle. Zero time lag. However, this guy is not a shameless freak. He is plain absent minded.

Famous people: Archimedes, Paresh Rawal

<6>Literature Laureate

While his left hand ensures that the lavatory remains clean, his right hand is busy writing/drawing something on the wall. These guys are artists with apparently no muse. Their creativity blossoms only while they are peeing. Most of the drawings they make are ideal examples of female anatomy – men’s toilets are full of such artistic masterpieces. Some of them could even make a biology book bow down in shame.

But the real geniuses are the one’s who write. The graffitists. The advices they write about life are worth following. Life would indeed become better. Certain examples of what they write:

a) Stop reading start pissing. (wow)

b) Turn to your back. (At the back) Turn to your right. (On Right) Turn to your left. (On left) “Dude, life is too precious to spend looking around in a public urinal. Piss off. (How true!)

Famous People: Kurt Vonneguut, Leonardo da Vinci, the guy who wrote the song ‘aati kya khandala’

<7> Movers and shakers

Now the literature guy also writes “No matter how hard you shake, the last drop is always in your underwear.” This is a fact of life and you have to accept it and move on. But then

there is always this guy who just seems so stuck up. He refuses to acknowledge it. This guy belongs to the movers and shakers type. After he is done, he shakes his…whatever…vigorously and for a long time. It really looks pathetic from back.

Famous People: Prabhu Deva, Sreesanth

<8> Pleeeeeease

This guy enters into the loo only in case of extreme emergency and always when the toilet is full. He gives an amazing expression of agony and pain personified and begs others to allow him to break the line. You have to give in after looking at his pathetically distorted face.

Famous people: Rajpal Yadav

<9> The quick ones

Another mystery. How these guys do it, I do not know. They finish peeing in 5-8 seconds. Complete mystery. At times I have wondered if these people really do anything. Could be a shy guy in disguise.

Famous People: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs

<10>Dirty Harry

Hate them. They do not believe in the use of good old H2O.  They neither wash their own hands nor do they flush. Bad! Bad!

Famous People: Gulshan Grover, Shakti Kapoor.

Right on girls – these are your dream guys. Chose carefully.

Guys – these are your heroes. Follow ’em cautiously.

Note from the author: The author would like to apologize if somebody’s religious sentiments are hurt. Comments of course are welcome.





Murphy’s law Proved

14 10 2008

So someone said, some people have loads of time at their hands. An hour later, I realized that he was referring to me. Of course the truth is far from it. I am a terribly busy person interested in how nature works and all that nonsense which goes around. What I have here is a simple proof for one of the laws of nature – The Murphy’s law.

A bit of background:

The law is a very fundamental law of … I am not sure if it belongs to science. I guess it belongs to mathematics and has something to do with probability theory or as Douglas Adams would have said, something to do with improbability theory. The law has been around for ages just like the law of gravitation. People knew all that goes up comes down (except whatever sticks to the ceiling) but still couldn’t grasp gravity until Newton did it.

Similarly, Murphy’s Law was around for centuries. The simple statement of Murphy’s Law is “If there is something that can go wrong, then it will.”

Ramayan, Mahabharat have abundant examples of Murphy’s Law. Origin of life, which again according to Douglas Adams was a big mistake, can again be considered as an example of Murphy’s Law. To cut a long story short, Murphy’s Law has been around for ages until someone figured it out. (It wasn’t Murphy by the way)

Before I give a simple and elegant proof about the existence of Murphy’s Law, let me put some more statements of this fascinating law.

A slice of buttered bread, when dropped, will always land butter-side down.

Variant: The probability a slice of buttered bread falling butter-side down is directly proportional to the price of carpet.

The day you forget your umbrella, it pours with rain.

Corollary: Taking an umbrella to make it rain will cause a draught.

For every foolproof system you make, there would always exist a better fool.

Your printer will always jam the night before something important is due.

The wind will always blow in the direction of the non-smoker.

The line next to the one you are in will always be much quicker.

Variant: The other queue always moves faster.

Murphy’s Philosophy: “Smile…tomorrow will be worse.”

Murphy’s Constant: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Murphy’s law of thermodynamics: Things always go wrong under pressure.

So now that you know what is Murphy’s Law, here’s a piece of my brain. The proof for Murphy’s Law.

Statement 1: Every important law that exists obeys Murphy’s Law.

Statement 2: For every law to exist there is a need for an exception. (Exceptions prove the law)

Statement 3: Murphy’s Law never fails. (Things will always go wrong)

Statement 4: That means Murphy’s Law doesn’t obey Murphy’s Law and thus in an exception to itself.

So logically connecting Statement 1, 2, 3 and 4 we deduce that Murphy’s Law holds true and exists.

So next time when you publish an article and check for all the spellings thrice and yet manage to overlook a simple spelling, just remember that its nature at its best. Simle. J





A girls’ guide to misery and happy living

14 10 2008

This is kind of a follow-up to my one of my previous posts. What I have documented here is a guide for girls to help them live happily. Of course, fathoming a girl’s mind is impossible and I have since long given it up. So what I have here instead is an unofficial classification of guys that you might come across in your everyday life.

This being the season of hook-ups and matchmaking, I thought it might prove to be helpful. However, there’s something that is acknowledged universally – no matter how much you try to make them happy, humans will find a way to misery and sufferings. And girls, being almost as human as human beings, aren’t very different. So although this article aims at helping the fairer of the two sexes, I doubt if it will succeed. So here we go – the guys classified. Guys who feel they do not belong to any of the categories list, kindly forgive my ignorance.

A word of caution: Girls who fantasize about kissing frogs, swinging with spidermen and

galloping with Sir Galahad, the great, better stop right here.

The “ITs”:

Ready-made marriageable materials. Never had an affair with another girl. High pay. Foreign trips guaranteed and will own a car. For girls who love shopping – they are jackpots.

However, most of them being mechanical engineers or some such engineers, they do not really know how to treat girls which can be remedied with a little training. The conversations are restricted to email hacking, job shifting and pay hikes. The most worrying fact however is a recent survey, which indicates a lowering libido in these guys. (WHOOPS!!!)

Hook-up quotient: 7.08714/10

Where do you find them: Every second person you meet.

The “MBAs and the corporates”:

He is better than what he was before he did his MBA. With training in conversation skills, he will keep you interested.

He is a bit too mechanical and also the smile on his face is usually frozen. Will have loads of friend-girls who will be beautiful and smart enough to make you jealous and suspicious. Of course, he will have enough excuses at hands if he gets late and comes home drunk.

Hook-up quotient: 6.333/10

How do you find them: The vernacular simpleton who now talks only in English.

The “NRI”s:

The lucky bastards!! Yes indeed, the luckiest. His average salary when converted into rupees is more than that of the IT-guy. Has an accent to impress you along with the stories that happen “abroad”.

Being tired of a number of flings with firangi girls, the guy wants to settle with a simple desi girl. The girl would of course end up being a cook and maid to his house. But that’s the way things go.

Hookup quotient: 9.998/10

Where do you find them: Times matrimonial and shadi.com

The ICD (I care damn) flirts:

The guys the girls will go out with.

Samir and me recently came up with this theory after some logical arguments:

Me: Girls have a choice to be happy…but they wont be which is just natural

Samir: yeah I always wonder… why that is so natural

Me: I guess they have a fondness for misery

It’s like this…

Misery breeds misery.

So the guy becomes…miserable

Then the girls have someone to be motherly with and take care of which is again their natural instinct, I guess.

Samir: yup, we guess.

So this is that guy girls shouldn’t be with but will always end up being with. The guy knows how to make the girl happy. Right from the start he will let her know that he doesn’t believe in commitment. And all this does is turn on the girl. Good times will ensure. Heated arguments will follow. You will break up with him only to realize that he wasn’t with you at all. The girl will end up marrying the “IT” guy or an “NRI”.

Hookup quotient: 1.665*10^34/10

Where do you find them: The guy riding a bike with a T-shirt that says, “Denial is a good thing if used correctly”

The “friend”ly guy:

The most lovable idiot. He will always be around. Mind you he is in love with you but will never let you know and get drunk on the day you get married and some years later will take your kids to the zoo.

Of course since he won’t be asking you out, there’s not much you can do. However, if you do like him, it’s not a bad idea to emotionally blackmailing him to the limit until he confesses his feelings. Girls will stay happily ever after but of course that makes life very boring and these things never happen. The beer and the zoo take their own course.

Hook-Up quotient: 1.5521/10

Where do you find them: There’s one around every girl

The last and also the least:…to the ones this blog is dedicated to

The PhD’s”

Oh, just leave them alone. They are just harmless souls. The last of all the options and always available.

Hook-up quotient: minus 85.68825555/10 whatever

Where do you find them: Ask yours’ truly.





So Writes a Looney…..

14 10 2008

“May be you can just make it into a fictional story. You people are anyway more fascinated by fiction than reality.”

I was perplexed. I was looking for at least one line of defense but I knew they had

me left completely naked in the middle of nowhere.

“So when do we meet again?” I asked.

“May be when you guys become human or else NEVER!”

———————————————————————————

This is a true story but I am sure you guys wont believe it. It actually happened and while it was happening I was told that nobody will believe me if I tell them about it. And since anyway you aren’t going to believe me, I’ll at least try and make this story readable. So, although the crux of the story remains unchanged, I’ll put in a bit of dark night, rains, thunder, lightening and stuff into it and make it like a story. So if you are not much of a hyperbole and onomatopoeia person, you can simply skip the next paragraph.

So as I said, it was a very dark night as I finished my experiment. And just as I was switching off the lights, all drowsy and drained, it started to rain outside. And by rain I do not mean the kind of rain in which the lovers hold hands and go out for a walk but it was pouring like it had never rained before, just like they show in the movies. Thunders promptly followed their respective lightenings. The winds were making that sound they make when they blow at very high speeds. I think its called howling but I am not sure. And just as I was transfixed by nature’s fury a bulb flashed in my brain telling me that I had neither an umbrella nor a raincoat.

A lesser man would have thought to himself, “Life cannot get any worse!” But I am PhD student and I am sure when Richard Feynman said, “There’s plenty of room at bottom”, he wasn’t just referring to nano – technology.

So anyway, as I was too tired, I thought I might as well sleep in the lab and perhaps my advisor would think I was working for the night. (God knows whom I am fooling!) So I sat on my chair, put my head on the desk and gently rolled off into sleep-land. (There’s no dreamland for a PhD student)

“Get up you bloody idiot!” I heard some voice say and for a moment I thought it was my advisor who had arrived early. As I got up and rubbed my eyes I noticed there wasn’t anybody around me. The rains had stopped and the air was as still as, well it was as still as the stillest of airs ever. There was a pin-drop silence everywhere. I realized that such a deafening silence is actually scarier than a thunder–storm. It was frightfully silent. It was freaky. And I admit I was scared.

“Who is it?” I asked, desperately trying to sound brave.

“Aliens.”

“Yeah right, and I am Elvis Presley.” I said almost convincing myself that I was being brave.

“Shut up, you dumb Earthling!” said the voice. There was so much authority in the voice that somehow I knew I had to shut up. And suddenly out of nowhere there was a blinding flash and out popped two men. One looked like a Jazz player and the other like a Japanese sumo wrestler, except that he was thin.

“What the…” I trailed off.

“Don’t worry we won’t harm you.” said the Sumo wrestler.

“But you are not aliens. I thought aliens were…”

“…Green?” completed the Jazz player.

“Yeah” I said.

“With antennae and all? You human beings just have a weird sense of imagination. Its really a miracle that your planet is alive.”

“Hey that’s offensive. And why did you call me an ‘Idiot’?” I asked.

“We’re sorry but we observed that you people refer to each other more with abuses than with first names.”

“That’s not true, but anyway, what are you doing here?” I had somehow realized that they were indeed friendly.

“It’s a long story.” Said the thin sumo wrestler.

“Let’s have it.” I said.

“Okay,” said Jazz player, “we are from a planet called…”

“Tralfamadore?” I asked, remembering from a book by Kurt Vonnegut.

“What’s wrong with you people? You never let others speak.” Shouted the Jazz player.

“Sorry, pray continue.” I said sheepishly.

“We are from a planet called Arogou. It’s a few hundred light years from here. We had discovered your planet a few centuries back and after some of our astronomers proved that there was life here, we were absolutely thrilled. The great question ‘Are we alone in the universe?’ had finally ended. So a few hundred years ago we started our journey and reached earth around 1905. However it was imperative for us to know the mentality of the people here. Initially we were very pleased with what we saw but slowly doubts began to creep up in our minds.

“You people had two major wars, you called world wars. But that was not enough. After you dropped a nuclear bomb, you were not alarmed by the destruction it caused. You actually started developing more and more weapons and you haven’t stopped as yet. You have no food to eat but you want to break atoms. Not a single day passes when you don’t kill someone, when you don’t despise someone.

“Look at what you’ve done to your own planet. You cut trees despite knowing fully well how badly it affects your planet. You pollute the soil, the air, the water even though you know how it affects the eco-system. And just killing your fellow beings does not satisfy you; you kill other animals as well. Those poor creatures try their best to stay away from you and yet you have brought them on the brink of extinction. You think you are so smart that you will face any problem that might confront you without realizing that your problems are self-inflicted. You have new diseases cropping up everyday and you cannot even prevent those. What kind of intelligence is that?

“You have already divided your planet on the basis languages, cultures, ethnicity, religion and what not. And all that does is create more and more hatred and distrust. You only talk about kindness but can do nothing for a poor kid who is dying of hunger except of clicking his photos and forwarding it to everyone. You simply hate each other. You cannot stand each other. There’s hatred on every level – country, state, city, neighborhood, your colleagues.

“Look at your mentality. It is so negative. You are so self – pitying and pathetic. And I think your hatred for others is actually the hatred you have harnessed for yourself, inside you.

“And finally, your movies about aliens? They are the dumbest. You never show stuff where aliens and earthlings become friends and all is well. Let me tell you kid, no one in their right minds will come to you planet. NEVER!”

And he stopped. Just as suddenly as he had appeared. I didn’t know what to say, so I just kept quiet.

“So anyway, we are leaving. Rest of our people have already left. We only thought it was our responsibility as fellow universians to let you know.”

“But why me?” I asked.

“Because you are one of those persons, nobody will believe in. I am sure you are dying to tell this to everyone you’ll meet. But because you people never trust each other, nobody will believe you. They’ll think you are a Looney, just like it has happened to others that we’ve interacted with.”

“So what do you suggest, I should do?”

“May be you can just make it into a fictional story. You people are anyway more fascinated by fiction that reality.”

I was perplexed. I was looking for at least one line of defense but I knew they had left me completely naked in the middle of nowhere.

“So when do we meet again?” I asked.

“May be when you guys become human or else NEVER!”

And with a sudden flash, they vanished. The flash indeed hurt my eyes and I realized the sun was staring straight into my eyes. As I got up from my chair, a colleague came in and said, “You slept in the lab, you bloody idiot?” and I just had to smiled.





Tall, Dark and Handsfew

14 10 2008

Yes, I am one of those. The permanent member of “The Singles” club and after reading lots of forwards titled something like “The virtues of being single” and all, I am still not convinced that I am not a loser. I am one of those infinite men in the universe who end up being just friends with the girls rather than their respective boyfriends. I have it all – job (ya, IT, but it pays well), a house (which only guys visit), tall, dark and some people even other than my mom say I am handsome. I don’t smoke and I drink socially, a drop or two. I don’t have any bad habits as such. I don’t bore people much (I know this because at times when I really bore them they ask me to shut up on my mouth and this hasn’t happened many times). And yet for some unfathomable reasons I am single.

Things I often get to hear from girls are:

1) You are so sweet.

2) You are so cute.

3) You are my best friend.

4) It’s great to have you around.

5) My boyfriend’s busy and there’s this movie I don’t want to miss. So I was wondering if you could get a couple of tickets for both of us. (Here us does not include me, but its she and her busy boyfriend.

And well, you have to be sweet when a girl calls you that and you have to be around (not with) because you are good if you are doing that.

Things I don’t get to hear are:

1) I love you.

2) You are so sexy.

3) I wish to spend my whole life with you.

4) You want to come upstairs for a coffee?

5) Kiss me! Now!

And now after so many years of not listening to these lines, I am beginning to believe that I will never ever get to hear them.

I don’t know what is wrong with me. Why do I always end up becoming friends with girls!? I have seen guys who are, well, “not-so-gentlemen”, to put mildly, going out with the best of the girls, having fun, ditching them or being ditched by them, still being happy and finding a new girl whom they can actually introduce as “my new girlfriend” without the girl feeling bad about it. And the only thing I end up saying is, “What did the girl see in this loser?”

I remember there was this day I decided that I wont be a nice guy anymore and the very day a friend-girl broke with her boy-friend. So she calls me up to meet me (that’s the exact time when girls actually remember me) and I am prepared to take my chances. So here is a girl, single and talking to a changed me. The new me. The straight-talking me.

“You deserve it”, I say, “for going out with that jerk.” And I am about to say why she needs to be with a guy who can hold her and all when she says, “Oh! You are so nice. I wish my boyfriend was like you.” and starts crying on my shoulder.

I mean W-H-AT–T-H-E–H-E-L-L!!! I am being bad and still I am good and she wants the bad guy to be like me and doesn’t want me. And that’s when I actually understood the meaning of the song I had been listening to since I was a child

Aap jaisa koi meri zindagi me aaye

Toh baat ban jaaye!!

For those who don’t understand Hindi, all it means is “My life will be made if someone like you walks into it”, get it? Like you – not YOU.

So that’s my story. I don’t believe in the mails that tell me why its great to be single but then there’s nothing I can do to actually compare the two modes of life: committed and single. I don’t think I will ever fall in love. Or rather I don’t think anyone will ever fall in love with me. I will always be single. Every girl teases my on some other girl but no one wants to go out with me. Sometimes I wonder if they even ever think about me unless they have just had a broken heart.

And I don’t think that my so-called friend-girls (not girlfriends) will ever realize that my friendship could actually be my love? But then, I can’t sulk about it, can I?, because I am the nice guy who is always around. What say?