Complete and full!!

18 05 2011

It was about four years ago when I first saw the man who was about to change my life!!

I sat in an audience of a few thousand in not-so-hot sun and unlike others I wasn’t so much looking forward to seeing Him. What I wanted was a patch of cloud to shade me from the sun. People were singing a bhajan which I didn’t know then but now is my favorite bhajan.

Radhe Radhe, radhe Radhe,

Radha Manas chandrama

Its a bhajan about intense longing and how the mind keeps changing like the phases of the moon when you are in love.

So anyway, people are singing and suddenly He walks up there and shouts “RAAADHEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!” with intense longing. And then a lovable, “Radhe!!” with His trademark mischivious smile.  He went on to talk at length as how krishna is love and Radha is longing. How you need longing for love to exist and yet strangely enough, love cannot stand distance. What He spoke was awesome but I was bothered by the sun.

And suddenly, out of nowhere, a big patch of cloud hid the mean ol’ sun behind it, much to the loud cheers. He looked at the audience and I could feel Him looking at me, an intense gaze, with his naughty smile and sais, “Hmmm, Hum apna kaam kar rahe hai na theek se!

Well, of course, like any other sensible person, I acknowledged it as a coincidence. The next four years went by with many ups and downs. He made me soak in His knowledge. He made me laugh, appreciate life and people around me. Made me cry too. Salty tears of misery flowed and became sweet tears of gratitude. Life became a celebration.

His gaze

But there was this one thing that bothered me. That intense gaze of His. That gaze had continued for a long time and then stopped. He had stopped looking at me. I tried many things to attract His attention but He just didn’t look.

Until yesterday. Yesterday I was at His satsang again. It was as usual beautiful. It was also one of my last few satsangs in Bangalore which considerably reduces the chance of seeing Him. And suddenly the bhajan started.

Radha Manas Chandrama.

And He looked at me. The same gaze. Intense gaze. Intense and yet beautiful. For almost 20 seconds. I din’t know but I was crying. The look said it all.

I am there for you. How could you even think that I could ignore you? I am you.

May be He had just made me long for His love by pretending to ignore me. I now know that He wasn’t ignoring me because I was still being taken care of. It was just that He wanted me to know that I might not get to see Him physically but He will always be there.

I was full. I was complete. I could feel my self. And like He says so often, I am not a seeker anymore. I have found.

I promise

A Small Story of Love

23 03 2010

I have been asked why I don’t blog so often now and I am sorry if you guys miss my writing. And well, I take it as a compliment of course. Reason is simple. I don’t have much to say. This blog is not about my idea or opinions. It’s just some stories I have encountered in life. Some are mine and some are of people I know. But basically they are stories. So until something doesn’t happen around me, this blog stays put. So you can guess, someting has indeed happened recently. I fell in love. Today’s story is about that love. Here we go.

Last week I went to Rishikesh. Don’t ask me how. I just did. Went for a conference to Delhi. Felt out of place there and thought of doing a bit of soul searching etc. and landed up in Rishikesh. There I met Pavni. This is her little story. It’s edited because it’s my blog but the crux of it hasn’t changed.

During one of Guruji’s (that’s His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar) satsangs in Rishikesh, an old lady came up to Him with a child in her hands. The lady wasn’t old I guess. Just the lines on her face, from too much of physical work made her look old. The child, she told Guruji was an abandoned child. She had found the baby girl in the bushes nearby on the banks of river Ganga. She didn’t know what to do with her.

Guruji just smiled as He normally does. Nodded His head and made an eye contact with “Her”.  Don’t ask me, who. It was just somebody sitting in the Satsangs. And She immediately knew what She had to do. After the satsang was over, She went to the lady to have a look at the child.

She was a beautiful child. She was dark but then, She thought, wasn’t Krishna dark too? She lay there smiling in the old woman’s hands. Blissfully moving her tiny hands and feet and smiling at Her. And She knew, there was some connection here. It was love in first sight.

“What’s her name?”, She asked the woman in Hindi.

“I don’t know.” said the woman.

“Let’s call her Pavni Ganga.”

And so she came to be known as Pavni Ganga or simply Pavni.

“I can take care of her”, said the old woman, “but I don’t have enough money.”

“Don’t worry about it. I will send you money regularly. You just take care of her needs.”

And so it happened. Pavni became her adopted daughter. This happened in 2006. Four years ago. Pavni now is four years old and the love story is still on.

Two weeks back She met Pavni again and enrolled her in a school run by a relatively unknown NGO called KHUSHI FOUNDATION. Pavni now goes to school.

This Saturday I met Pavni. She is a very beautiful 4 year old girl and is very bright. She liked me immediately. Her home is right next to the Ganga river. We played in the river for a while. We made some silly game to play and she liked it very much. It basically involved splashing a lot of water and getting wet.

She then took me to see her school. The NGO, run by a Dutch woman Madelien Broekman. On the way we saw a shop. Pavni is crazy about chocolates. She does a lot of dramas just to get that chocolate. (Just like She does.) I had no choice to get her the chocolate. So that’s Pavni. I was glad I could meet her. It was one of the best evenings I had. The holy river and the story of love.

And now the answer, who is She?

It’s none other than our dear Minni.

Sure go to Rishikesh. That is one place you should never miss. Sure go for river rafting and the ashrams and the chantings. But remember this small little story and go meet this little angel, who is being taken care of by another angel. You will fall in love with her. At least I did.

About a Girl

14 10 2008

Sorry for borrowing the title so shamelessly from the Nirvana song but it’s just that it fits here perfectly. It’s about somebody called Nidhi. I knew Nidhi since class 5 but we were never friends. We were neighbors, did our schooling together and so also our college and for the complete weirdness of fate joined in the same company as employees. This story is about the same girl. This is her story.

Here I go!

Nidhi was shy. She was so shy to talk to people that they would misunderstand her shyness for rudeness. But she wasn’t rude. She was very simple and very nice. People who knew her really liked her. Nidhi had had a very happy childhood and was a brilliant student. As far as I can remember, she has topped every exam I wrote. Except for the pangs of loneliness, her life was perfect. And by the time we started with our jobs, I think she must have got used to even that. She had a lot of acquaintances, lesser friends and hardly any good friend, none as far as I know. Even I was just an acquaintance. I once overheard her mother telling her, “No one will even attend your funeral.”

So much for astro-predictions!

She always got what she wanted and never really struggled or fought for anything. She was also extremely gullible. She trusted people blindly, may be hoping to make friends with them. I never saw her going out for dates either. I guess because nobody asked her out. I spoke to her just once or twice and I really had t strain my ears because she could hardly raise her voice. The only time I saw her really happy was once when the curtains of her home were not drawn and she was alone and dancing.

What a sight!

And so she lived until suddenly “THE THING” happened. A lot has already been said about THE THING and also since this is Nidhi’s story, let us just stick to her. Just for your knowledge, it was some sort of a protest against the government. It was about a policy of the government that would affect the lives of a lot of people.

To hell with the government!

But it didn’t affect Nidhi’s life personally. And since she hardly read any newspaper, she wasn’t even aware of the great public uprising that might shape the country’s future.

So much for all the education!

So it was Friday evening I looked up from my computer screen and saw Nidhi cleaning her table for the weekend. A friend of mine, Anurag, cheerful guy, also happened to be doing the same and out of sheer habit he smiled at Nidhi. Normally nobody smiled at her because as I had said, people thought she was rude. Just as Anurag began to contemplate his mistake, Nidhi surprised him (and even me) by returning his smile.


So it was kind of imperative that he said something.

“So all set for tomorrow?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” Nidhi replied.

She was clueless because she didn’t really know that people actually did something on Saturdays.

“I meant the protest. Aren’t you going for that?” asked Anurag.

“What protest?”

Anurag thought Nidhi was kidding him or just playing because it was the biggest thing that was happening in the country. Perhaps bigger than the game of cricket. However something about her innocence told him that she wasn’t really kidding.

“You mean you don’t know anything about it?” said Anurag, stressing on the word ‘it’.

“No. I hardly know anything that happens around me.” She said matter of factly.

Anurag had to smile at her truthfulness and so he smiled. Anurag always smiled. He never smirked. Suddenly he felt like as if he was her dad and needed a father-daughter talk with her.

“Okay let’ s go for dinner and I’ll explain you.” It wasn’t really that he had asked her out but it was her first date.

Whoa, what a nigh!

The dinner went for long hours and Anurag explained her all about the new government policy and how it would affect a common man of this country. He spoke in the way most guys do, which they think will impress the girl they are talking to, by waving their hands and punching fists in the air. However, with Anurag, I must tell you, it was all very natural. He was seriously serious about it.

“But I don’t see how it will affect me, personally.” Said Nidhi after Anurag had finished.

Anurag tried to keep his cool by reminding himself that she was just too innocent and ignorant and not playing smart.

“But, don’t you see the bigger picture?” he asked. “What about your country? It will go to dogs. You don’t want that, do you?” Another session followed wherein Anurag tried to explain her the bigger picture which Nidhi, being, as I had said before, gullible, understood really well.

“So that’s that.” Said Anurag, concluding his inspirational speech with another punch to the helpless air, which had pretty much got used to getting punched at. His speech had, however, made her speechless and had she been British, she would have probably said, ‘Blimey!’ or ‘Ooo la la!’ had she been French but since she was just a simple India girl, she remained speechless and Anurag could see a faint glint of tear in her eye. She was very clearly moved.

Or may be it was just a sparkle!

Nidhi’s mind was racing. She was touched. It was as if she had been living in a dark room all along and suddenly with just a blink of an eye, there was a loud light around her – bright and clear. The light hurt her eyes – and hence the tear.

“I’ll be there tomorrow.” She said and left – without a word or even a good-bye. What Anurag did with the bill is another story but its funny. So let me not include it in this particular chronicle.

Nidhi crashed into her bed when she reached home. Thoughts began to crowd into her mind. Where had she been all these years? Why had she been so blind? So un-informed (if such a word existed)! So stupid! So freakingly self-absorbed! Why had she never even felt a hint of pain for her fellow countrymen? She did could not sleep the whole night. Peeping out of my room, I saw her sitting in the balcony whole night.

Boy, had she changed!

She was one of the first persons to reach at the venue. When I reached there, I found Nidhi standing in a corner as people began to appear slowly. The banners, posters and pamphlets began to be put up, drawn and distributed, respectively. Certain black ribbons also found themselves, almost automatically, getting tying on people’s arms. I went up to her and she smiled at me, probably for the first time and …well…for the first time.

We both were waiting for Anurag because we didn’t know what to talk to each other and the silence between us was getting too loud and too uncomfortable. However, there wasn’t any silence around us as people had begun shouting certain catchy slogans explaining how certain breeds of dogs were better than certain breeds of politicians.

So much for democracy!

Nidhi too was searching for Anurag. “Did she like him?’ ‘Shut up!’ her mind warned her, ‘You are here to improve the plight of your countrymen.’ And so suddenly Nidhi joined the marching people. Certain slogans, Nidhi found were rude, a few witty and some ridiculous. But who cared as long as they rhymed. Anything said against the government was good.

“People can take any shit when united!”

Nidhi found herself in a sea of people. She had never seen so many people. Thousands and thousands of them were marching and shouting slogans – just like it would have happened during the struggle for independence. Her senses got numb and she suddenly stopped in the middle. She stood there like a tree and everything around her seemed to move in slow motion. (Yes, it happens just the way they show in movies.) She turned around a full circle and all she could see was people. She couldn’t hear a word. She didn’t know where she was or what was happening.

I have become comfortably numb!

Nidhi was jolted back to reality by Anurag after he had finally managed to find her. But what he saw was somebody new.

“I am going to the front.” She said. Suddenly she could feel the leader in her. She cut in through the throngs of people and managed to reach in the very first row of the protestors.

She saw police vans ready with lathis, water cannons, tear gas etc. Some of them even had rifles in their hands. The crowd slowed down as police marched ahead. They knew what was coming but they knew that they themselves couldn’t stop either because suddenly they had a new leader.

Nidhi shouted half a slogan. She shouted that at such a voice that it surprised her herself. The loudest she had ever said anything. It was probably the first time she had actually raised her voice. The crowd responded back, completing the other half of the slogan. She shouted again, louder and firmer. This time more number of people completed her half said line. The third time when she shouted, it was the loudest anybody had ever shouted since the march began but it was also because she had, by this time, a megaphone miraculously placed in her hands. Her voice sounded like a tigress on the megaphone. The chants grew louder and stronger and the police began to proceed even faster. Nidhi looked straight into them and continued to move ahead. The police warned them to stop but nobody seemed to hear them.

They got the guns but we got the numbers!

And out of nowhere, came an order, ‘Lathi Charge!’

The police began to do what they were told viz. hitting people with their sticks to disperse them. Water cannons began to fire water at high velocities. Nidhi was not deterred. She continued to move ahead. A policeman rushed at her and gave a powerful blow of his thick stick on Nidhi’s skull. The blow was too hard for a delicate person like her. Her body took a 270 degrees spin and collapsed. Anurag saw her falling down and just about managed to get her body by the side of the road.

Nidhi was dead!

The situation came to order after an hour or so. Nidhi’s head, now fully smeared in blood was nestled in Anurag’s lap. An ambulance arrived and took her body away for post-mortem.

Give me a break!

The next day’s newspapers read the following headlines: Government takes back its decision amidst violent countrywide protests.

While another line said: 101 injured and one dead in Mumbai.

The one dead was a certain Nidhi. She was popular for the first time but she wasn’t there anymore. She was popular because unlike her mother used to say, thousands of people attended her funeral. Everybody who came there said how brave Nidhi was and everybody from our office said how great a friend they had been with Nidhi and how great a girl she was.

I saw Anurag sitting in a corner, head down probably feeling guilty for what happened. I don’t know why but I heard a deafening silence as a saw her body go up in flames.


The Art of Laughing

14 10 2008

Augustus sat chomping on the baby seals while the sun shown over the Tundra region. It was very beautiful because the sun never sets there in the summer. There were plenty of baby seals to eat. After that he would mate with someone he loved and go back to hibernation at the onset of winters.

Far away in the other reaches on the earth, there was a country full of brave people who were in turn ruled by an even braver president. However the president had a slight problem. His problem was that he could not smile. Rather, he could not afford to smile because he didn’t have enough oil to run his country. And because of that, he began to hate the president of another country who had more oil than water. He began to wonder how he could get all those oil wells along with the oil that they contained. So all he decided to do was simply attack the other country and get hold of their oil wells. And that he promptly did.

The war raged for many a days. Brave men were killed. Noble Generals got bravery medals even as they tried their best to console the wives of the brave and yet dead soldiers. Missiles were launched into the very hearts of big cities rendering thousands dead and many more homeless. There weren’t many orphans because the little kids died along with their parents. There were protests and there were music concerts for peace. And finally the war ended with the president who owned the oil wells being killed by one of the missiles.

This made the first president very happy. All the oil was now his. However, what he didn’t know was that before dying, the other president had set the oil wells on fire. The fire was big. Bigger than any fire seen on the earth. Hundreds of such fires raged in divine fury. Tons of crude oil got burnt every second. A huge smoke engulfed the sky, which even managed to shadow the sun. A lot of harmful gases rose in the sky.

Far far away, oblivion to the above happenings, Augustus slept in a peaceful slumber. He had been sleeping for five months. While some of the readers might call him a lazy bastard, let me assure you that it’s a normal behavior for polar bears who rule the North Pole. They hibernate for almost five months in the winter. There was a pleasant smile on his face as he dreamt. Augustus sat chomping on the baby seals while the sun shone over the Tundra region. It was very very beautiful because the sun never sets there in the summer. There were plenty of baby seals to eat. After that he would mate with someone he loved and go back to hibernation at the onset of winters.

And suddenly, it was time to get up. Augustus had woken up after those five long months. If you happen to be a polar bear, which I know you are not because polar bears cannot read, but still, and were to wake up after five months, first thing you would realize would be how terribly hungry you are. And being a normal polar bear that he was, Augustus was no exception to this divine rule. He was terribly hungry but food will have to wait. He had to ravel a few hundred miles on the Arctic Ocean before he could gobble the baby seals. (On the Arctic Ocean because it would be under a thick blanket of ice). Augustus licked his tongue. It would definitely be worth the wait.

Augustus got out of the snow that had blanketed him in the last five months and started his pre-meal walk, slowly, step by step. He got down from the snow mountain he had slept on and started his walk on the Arctic ice. The sun was just beginning to rise and it wouldn’t set for another six months. Things seemed normal. What he didn’t know, however, was that the very sun was heating the earth up, more than what it was supposed to.

The first few miles were crossed without any trouble. However, things seemed slightly unusual after that. What? – he was unable to say. Perhaps the ice seemed softer or may be less cold. ‘Whatever!’, he thought remembering the baby seals he would eat.

After a while, just as he was walking, Augustus’ forepaw sank into the ice until it actually touched the water below it. It was strange. This was something that had never happened before. Of course, he wasn’t endowed with a degree in physics to understand phase transition.

He had barely removed his forepaw from the ice when his other forepaw too sank into the ice. And suddenly the earth, or should I say the ice, under his feet gave away and Augustus’ two ton body splashed into the arctic. He began to panic and splashed even more which caused the ice banks to break and he found himself in an even bigger pool of deep water. Somehow, he managed to get himself together and climbed back on to the ice.

As I had said before, Augustus didn’t know much of physics. Rather he didn’t know any physics and wasn’t a good swimmer. All this is, of course, true for all the polar bears, which is just to convey that Augustus was not a dimwit amongst fellow polar bears.However, Augustus, having roughed up in the wild stretches of the North Pole, had superb natural instincts. What he did was this – he spread his four legs away almost up to a point that his soft belly touched the ground. As a result he exerted lesser pressure on the ice and began to move ahead. The sight would have looked pathetic to his creator. Here was a giant animal, powerful animal moving like a coward, slowly on the ice his ancestors had ruled since probably the ice age.

The sun, meanwhile, continued its mission of melting the polar cap. The ice began to melt even quicker. And suddenly, there was all water around Augustus. Augustus sank deep into the water. He paddled hard and managed to come to the surface. There was no land to be seen. Had he slept longer than what he was supposed to? Had he started his journey in a wrong direction? Augustus couldn’t think. He started paddling his feet frantically. He didn’t know what else could he do. He didn’t know what was wrong. He gulped a huge amount of seawater and coughed. What the hell was happening? He began to panic as his life began to flash in front of his eyes. It mostly included eating baby seals and the snow. What was water doing here? Ah! The seals. He smiled and drowned.

Far away, the victorious president woke up from his peaceful sleep and read about his victory on the front page of his favorite newspaper. He turned to another page that showed a photograph of some dead polar bear drowned in some place he had never heard of. He smiled a satisfied smile as he tossed the paper away.

Leonard Cohen, Pt. Kumar Gandharva and the case of my broken finger – Oh, and a bit of Albus Dumbledore

14 10 2008

So most of you might know that I had fractured my finger recently. Thanks for all the sympathies and goodwill. The reason as I had told you was I got hit by a tennis ball while playing cricket. But then I could see it in most people’s eyes. They didn’t buy the explanation. “Tennis ball?”, they said, “strange.” and walk away thinking, “Something is fishy.” with a Sherlock Holmes-like look on their respective faces.

And I have to admit, that their minds are not confounded just for the heck of it. But truth as I always say is at times stranger than fiction. I have been called a liar when I told you about the nose-ringed girl and I have been called a Looney when I told you that aliens visited my lab. But truth as it is, has to come out. I mean what’s the point in hiding things from your friends. But then again, after the whole story is told, you would want to believe in the tennis ball theory.

So it was the night of 12th December and I was very tired after a hard day’s work…ahem…I am telling the truth. So after an early dinner I came back to my room. A friend of mine had left his laptop with me. That meant I could listen to some music as I slept. All I could lay my hands on, though, were two CDs one by Leonard Cohen, whom I consider as one of the greatest song-writers and poets and the other Pandit Kumar Gandharva considered by the knowledgeables as one of the greatest in classical music. So I downloaded the two CDs and kept the music selection on random. The first song was by Cohen – “Everybody Knows”. However, I was asleep in no time. The last lines I remember I heard were the classic Cohen lines:

Everybody knows that you love me baby

Everybody knows that you really do

Everybody knows that you’ve been faithful

Ah give or take a night or two

So at about 3:00 in the night I felt my eyes hurt. There was a bright light in my room and standing at the edge of my bed was Albus Dumbledore. For those who don’t know Albus

Dumbledore, he is Harry Potter’s teacher. It was perplexing because he was without his beard and looked very different. Oh and he wasn’t friendly. Of course I have had an experience of being woken up by aliens in the night. So I wasn’t very surprised.

He looked at the laptop and noticed the playlist.

“Fascinating, listening to Kumar Gandharva and Leonard Cohen together.”, he said.

“yeah”, I said, “what I wouldn’t give to see them perform live.”

Then I remembered that it wasn’t possible to listen to the great Pt. Kumar Gandharva live at least in this birth.

“He is no more, if you don’t know.” said the beardless wizard.

“I know”, I said. “But I hope I get to see Cohen before I die.”

He fell into a silence.

“Hey, you said, you can give anything to see the two perform live, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”, I said, a bit of suspicion creeping into my mind.

“Alright, come with me.” he said and led me out of the room to the hostel terrace.

Seated there were the two greats. Leonard Cohen and Pt. Kumar Gandharva.

“But…”, I had lost my speech.

Cohen had started to play his guitar. What he was playing was a chord but the chord I had never heard before and I knew what he was doing. He was playing the secret chord. And his husky voice filled the air. He was playing “Hallelujah”. The words filled me completely as a shiver went through my spine.

Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord

That David played, and it pleased the Lord

But you don’t really care for music, do you?

It goes like this

The fourth, the fifth

The minor fall, the major lift

The baffled king composing Hallelujah

The chorus came from nowhere and it were probably the stars. The song continued…

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew her

She tied you

To a kitchen chair

She broke your throne, and she cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah …

I was lost. The sound was clearer than a studio recording. Meanwhile Pt. Kumar Gandharva sat listening to him with a gentle smile. A knowing smile. A smile that said he knew exactly what the words meant. The song finished with the chorus dying out softly. I didn’t even dare to clap. Perhaps afraid of waking up from my dream, if I was dreaming.

No sooner had he finished, the maestro had started his “aalap”. The greats don’t take time to shift gears and by now the notes of “raga Bhairavi” were making my hair stand erect. The song was “Ud jayega hans akela”. The words came out in short bursts. In no time the pace was up – “drut bandish” as Nandita told me later.

If Leonard Cohen had been awesome, Kumar Gandharva was mind-blowing. Even the leaves had stopped to rattle. The only sound in the still of the night was his.

“Guru ki karni, Guru janega

Chele ki karni chela

Ud jaayega….” he sang his Nirguni Bhajan.

Nothing moved. The raga stopped. Within a blink of my eye, both the greats had vanished. I was dumbfounded. The sounds still reverberated in my head.

“Well” said Dumbledore. “Hope it was okay.”

“Okay? It was out of the world.”

“Yeah well, you remember the promise, don’t you?”

“What promise?”

“That you would give anything if you listened to them live.”

“Oh yeah, what do you want?”

“You see, there’s this experiment we need to do on our planet and we need a bit of human bone.”

“What planet? Aren’t you Dumbledore?”

“Who?”, he asked. “Don’t you remember me? We had met in your lab. I was wearing a sumo wrestlers clothes.”

“Ah! I thought you looked familiar.”

“No, I don’t. I had a plastic surgery.”

“Oh and why do you need human bone?”

“We are building human beings so that we learn how to interact with them. We think there is a hope for our planets to join hands. We are just preparing ourselves to deal with you guys.”

“oh and well…did you say u wanted my bones?” I was scared. I mean how can you trust aliens who want your bones.

“No just a piece, a few micrograms. But I am afraid I’ll have to break it a bit.”

“Will that hurt?”

“No you will fall unconscious. And your boss will grant you a holiday too. I’ll make sure that he does.”

“Alright.” I said for I am a man of my words.

“He just waved his hand and I heard a click in my finger and a little pain. I fell on the floor.

I woke up with some pain in my finger the next day and what a place to wake up – the hostel terrace. My finger was swollen but my head was still full of music so it didn’t hurt. What followed was a trip to the doctor and more amazingly my boss granting me a long holiday. The finger still hurts after two months but that is not a big price to pay if you get to listen to two greats, right?

Murphy’s law Proved

14 10 2008

So someone said, some people have loads of time at their hands. An hour later, I realized that he was referring to me. Of course the truth is far from it. I am a terribly busy person interested in how nature works and all that nonsense which goes around. What I have here is a simple proof for one of the laws of nature – The Murphy’s law.

A bit of background:

The law is a very fundamental law of … I am not sure if it belongs to science. I guess it belongs to mathematics and has something to do with probability theory or as Douglas Adams would have said, something to do with improbability theory. The law has been around for ages just like the law of gravitation. People knew all that goes up comes down (except whatever sticks to the ceiling) but still couldn’t grasp gravity until Newton did it.

Similarly, Murphy’s Law was around for centuries. The simple statement of Murphy’s Law is “If there is something that can go wrong, then it will.”

Ramayan, Mahabharat have abundant examples of Murphy’s Law. Origin of life, which again according to Douglas Adams was a big mistake, can again be considered as an example of Murphy’s Law. To cut a long story short, Murphy’s Law has been around for ages until someone figured it out. (It wasn’t Murphy by the way)

Before I give a simple and elegant proof about the existence of Murphy’s Law, let me put some more statements of this fascinating law.

A slice of buttered bread, when dropped, will always land butter-side down.

Variant: The probability a slice of buttered bread falling butter-side down is directly proportional to the price of carpet.

The day you forget your umbrella, it pours with rain.

Corollary: Taking an umbrella to make it rain will cause a draught.

For every foolproof system you make, there would always exist a better fool.

Your printer will always jam the night before something important is due.

The wind will always blow in the direction of the non-smoker.

The line next to the one you are in will always be much quicker.

Variant: The other queue always moves faster.

Murphy’s Philosophy: “Smile…tomorrow will be worse.”

Murphy’s Constant: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Murphy’s law of thermodynamics: Things always go wrong under pressure.

So now that you know what is Murphy’s Law, here’s a piece of my brain. The proof for Murphy’s Law.

Statement 1: Every important law that exists obeys Murphy’s Law.

Statement 2: For every law to exist there is a need for an exception. (Exceptions prove the law)

Statement 3: Murphy’s Law never fails. (Things will always go wrong)

Statement 4: That means Murphy’s Law doesn’t obey Murphy’s Law and thus in an exception to itself.

So logically connecting Statement 1, 2, 3 and 4 we deduce that Murphy’s Law holds true and exists.

So next time when you publish an article and check for all the spellings thrice and yet manage to overlook a simple spelling, just remember that its nature at its best. Simle. J

A girls’ guide to misery and happy living

14 10 2008

This is kind of a follow-up to my one of my previous posts. What I have documented here is a guide for girls to help them live happily. Of course, fathoming a girl’s mind is impossible and I have since long given it up. So what I have here instead is an unofficial classification of guys that you might come across in your everyday life.

This being the season of hook-ups and matchmaking, I thought it might prove to be helpful. However, there’s something that is acknowledged universally – no matter how much you try to make them happy, humans will find a way to misery and sufferings. And girls, being almost as human as human beings, aren’t very different. So although this article aims at helping the fairer of the two sexes, I doubt if it will succeed. So here we go – the guys classified. Guys who feel they do not belong to any of the categories list, kindly forgive my ignorance.

A word of caution: Girls who fantasize about kissing frogs, swinging with spidermen and

galloping with Sir Galahad, the great, better stop right here.

The “ITs”:

Ready-made marriageable materials. Never had an affair with another girl. High pay. Foreign trips guaranteed and will own a car. For girls who love shopping – they are jackpots.

However, most of them being mechanical engineers or some such engineers, they do not really know how to treat girls which can be remedied with a little training. The conversations are restricted to email hacking, job shifting and pay hikes. The most worrying fact however is a recent survey, which indicates a lowering libido in these guys. (WHOOPS!!!)

Hook-up quotient: 7.08714/10

Where do you find them: Every second person you meet.

The “MBAs and the corporates”:

He is better than what he was before he did his MBA. With training in conversation skills, he will keep you interested.

He is a bit too mechanical and also the smile on his face is usually frozen. Will have loads of friend-girls who will be beautiful and smart enough to make you jealous and suspicious. Of course, he will have enough excuses at hands if he gets late and comes home drunk.

Hook-up quotient: 6.333/10

How do you find them: The vernacular simpleton who now talks only in English.

The “NRI”s:

The lucky bastards!! Yes indeed, the luckiest. His average salary when converted into rupees is more than that of the IT-guy. Has an accent to impress you along with the stories that happen “abroad”.

Being tired of a number of flings with firangi girls, the guy wants to settle with a simple desi girl. The girl would of course end up being a cook and maid to his house. But that’s the way things go.

Hookup quotient: 9.998/10

Where do you find them: Times matrimonial and

The ICD (I care damn) flirts:

The guys the girls will go out with.

Samir and me recently came up with this theory after some logical arguments:

Me: Girls have a choice to be happy…but they wont be which is just natural

Samir: yeah I always wonder… why that is so natural

Me: I guess they have a fondness for misery

It’s like this…

Misery breeds misery.

So the guy becomes…miserable

Then the girls have someone to be motherly with and take care of which is again their natural instinct, I guess.

Samir: yup, we guess.

So this is that guy girls shouldn’t be with but will always end up being with. The guy knows how to make the girl happy. Right from the start he will let her know that he doesn’t believe in commitment. And all this does is turn on the girl. Good times will ensure. Heated arguments will follow. You will break up with him only to realize that he wasn’t with you at all. The girl will end up marrying the “IT” guy or an “NRI”.

Hookup quotient: 1.665*10^34/10

Where do you find them: The guy riding a bike with a T-shirt that says, “Denial is a good thing if used correctly”

The “friend”ly guy:

The most lovable idiot. He will always be around. Mind you he is in love with you but will never let you know and get drunk on the day you get married and some years later will take your kids to the zoo.

Of course since he won’t be asking you out, there’s not much you can do. However, if you do like him, it’s not a bad idea to emotionally blackmailing him to the limit until he confesses his feelings. Girls will stay happily ever after but of course that makes life very boring and these things never happen. The beer and the zoo take their own course.

Hook-Up quotient: 1.5521/10

Where do you find them: There’s one around every girl

The last and also the least:…to the ones this blog is dedicated to

The PhD’s”

Oh, just leave them alone. They are just harmless souls. The last of all the options and always available.

Hook-up quotient: minus 85.68825555/10 whatever

Where do you find them: Ask yours’ truly.